Background
by Carol3059
Summary: He couldn't expect Max to rescue him this time. Not when she didn't even realize he was in trouble. MA... eventually. This is NOT a deathfic.
1. Chapter 1

This story is set before Freak Nation but after Love Among the Runes. So, transgenics are exposed but not Max and Alec. I'm back fully into writing. Yay! Title comes from a song by Third Eye Blind.

I don't own anything.

"Alec!" Max banged on his door, anger coursing through her veins, as seemed too often do with Alec. "Alec! Open the door!"

She wouldn't admit to the worry that had started to creep up on her when Alec hadn't shown for work or at Joshua's. She didn't want to admit to herself that, while it wasn't so strange for him to skip out on work every now and then, it wasn't like him to bail on Joshua.

She let out a frustrated breath and tried opening the door. She couldn't help the heightened worry when she found it unlocked.

Max stopped inside his door. Her gaze swept the room, noted the broken glass on the floor in the small kitchen. She crept towards his bedroom and stopped short once again in the doorway.

He was lying on the floor beside his bed. He was on his back. His cell phone was lying next to one hand and the covers to his bed were pulled to the floor. His eyes were open.

"Alec." Max ran over, dropped to her knees beside him. She put her hands on the sides of his face, turned his head towards her, stared into his blank eyes.

"Oh, God." Max sat back and a sense of overwhelming, unexpected despair caught her. She bent forward with it. The pain that sprang up in her gut spread throughout her. Without thinking, she pulled him toward her. She didn't even notice when she started the rocking.

* * *

"Hello?" Logan answered his phone. He'd been sitting in front of his computer for a while now but not really doing anything.

"Hello?" He asked again when nobody answered.

"Logan." Max's voice came through finally.

"Max? Something wrong?" He stood worriedly.

Her voice was flat, emotionless when she answered. "I need your car."

"Max, what happened? Where are you?"

"Alec's. I need your car. I have to take him back." She hung up before he could respond.

Logan stared at his phone a moment. He and Max hadn't really talked since she'd told him about her and Alec. He cringed at the idea of going over to Alec's place but grabbed his keys anyway. Max's voice…it had sounded so…dead.

Alec's door was open when he made it over there and he went inside. "Max?" He called, walking towards the bedroom, forgetting everything that he hated about Alec in favor of actual worry. He stopped in the bedroom doorway.

Max was sitting on the floor beside the bed. She'd pulled Alec into her arms but for once the thought of them like that didn't insight jealousy because Alec wasn't moving. His eyes were open but fixed.

"Max…" Logan walked over and knelt on the other side of Alec. Max still hadn't looked up at him. When he reached out, she pulled Alec closer to herself and her head snapped up. Logan almost backed up at the look in her eyes.

When he withdrew, Max turned back to Alec. She reached up with one hand and closed his eyes.

"I need to take him to TC," Max stated after a moment.

"Okay."

* * *

Max carried Alec inside Terminal City. She refused to let him go. She couldn't let him go. She was barely aware of Joshua, Mole and Dix as she laid him out on the table in command. She thought she heard Logan talking to Joshua, thought she heard Joshua howling the same way he had for his brother.

She'd laid him down but she hadn't let him go. She didn't stop Joshua when he came over the way she had Logan. It had seemed a disservice to him…to let Logan touch him but Joshua…Alec and Joshua had become friends.

There were too many people in the room suddenly. Several just to see…too many that didn't care.

"I'm going to take care of him," she told Joshua. "You can come with me." She didn't leave any question in her tone. She and Joshua would be the only ones there for this.

* * *

Joshua watched Max dig. She had refused any kind of help at all. She dug furiously and kept going…past the point that they had for any others that had been killed. She had finally relinquished Alec to Joshua when they'd made it there.

It was her job, she'd said.

* * *

Max focused solely on digging. They were in the woods on the outskirts of Seattle. In the woods. It was the only place she could think of…the only place she could leave him. She couldn't leave him to stay in Terminal City forever. He hated the place…hated the thought of Joshua and possibly them someday being stuck in there like they had been in Manticore.

He liked the freedom, of course. They all did. She had to leave him outside. Still in Seattle because he'd admitted to her one time, just a month previously after she'd spilled her guts about Ben, that, finally, after so long, Seattle actually felt like home to him. He'd stopped thinking of home as Manticore.

Alec had always been a fan of the comforts they were allowed now that they were outside of Manticore. Junk food, scotch, television, the basic allowance of sleeping in if he wanted…sex.

That was all very simple. Simple stuff, straightforward. Alec had always been pretty straightforward. At least with his wants, needs, beliefs.

There was another level, though. One she'd rarely seen. She'd seen it after Rachel Berrisford. She'd seen it after Biggs death. One horribly damaged layer that was very much courtesy of Manticore.

But most of the time, he lived up to the name she'd given him...and, most of the time, it wasn't really an act.

The guy who couldn't seem to worry about his own safety until he was in a jam he couldn't get himself out of. The guy who could never seem to see two days ahead. The guy who said whatever sprang to mind, who called her on it when she was being too much of a bitch.

Telling him about Ben, letting go of Ben really, had released most of her anger towards him and she was surprised to find that she actually kind of liked that about him. She liked that he was straightforward.

Now it was gone. He was gone.

She finished digging. Now all she had to do was put him inside and cover the hole. Joshua remained silent while she finished. She remained silent. She'd been trying not to think about what it meant.

She couldn't avoid it, though. The hole was filled but she felt hollowed out. She didn't cry or scream. She just felt numb.

"What now?" Joshua asked her.

"Now, we find out who did this," Max answered. She shouldered the shovel. She couldn't even leave a marker. She couldn't risk someone finding the grave, finding him. "And we kill them."

* * *

She didn't have to wait long for Max to leave. Max marched off almost immediately after burying Alec. She grinned. It had worked.

She watched Max. She didn't feel any guilt for the pain she'd so obviously caused Max. Max deserved it…after what she'd done. They were supposed to look out for each other. That was what they'd promised as kids. Max hadn't done that. Max had taken him.

She ran to the fresh grave and began digging herself as soon as she was sure Max was out of hearing range. She went as fast as she could.

* * *

"Max…" Logan started when she and Joshua made it back to TC. She was covered in dirt and her eyes…he'd never seen them look quite like it…

"Find me White," Max ordered Dix, ignoring Logan.

"You think it was him?" Dix asked with a wary expression.

"Who else?"

"Max," Logan tried, keeping his voice low and gentle. "It could have been someone else. There a lot of people in the city who would want-"

"White first," Max interrupted. "I'm gonna find out if it was him."

"You think he'd just tell you?" Logan asked.

Max shook her head and gave him a smile. There was absolutely no humor in it. "No but if he doesn't want to, I'm gonna see how high his pain tolerance is."

"Max, don't you think we should know how Alec was…" He trailed off when Max turned fully to him, took a step towards him, either forgetting for a moment about the virus or not caring.

"What? You want to go dig him up, Logan? Want to run a bunch of tests?" She took another step, forcing him backwards. "No, I'm gonna find out who did this without degrading him that way. I'm gonna find out who did this and I'm gonna make them pay."

* * *

She watched him. It would happen soon. She'd already given him the shot. She was just waiting. She'd taken a risk. A risk with his brain, a risk he wouldn't ever wake up but she was getting rewarded. She could feel his heartbeat in his wrist, see his chest rising and falling with his breath.

It would be any time. She'd wait.

* * *

His head was pounding. His whole body ached and he felt like he was going to lose everything in his stomach and he was cold. Freezing. Those were the sensations he woke up to.

It took him a minute, trying to breathe through the nausea and the pain in his head, to realize that he wasn't alone in the room.

"Max?" Of course, she was the first person that popped into his head. He heard a sharp intake of breath and felt the mattress he was lying on shift. He opened his eyes but could barely see anything.

"Don't worry. Your vision should return in a little bit. Sorry, it's one of the side effects but I had to get you away. I know what she did to you last time you were with her. You don't have to worry. She won't find you here."

He tried to move his hands but couldn't. They were held in place, over his head. He could feel them. He was cuffed to the bed. He tried to focus on the girl when she leaned over him but he couldn't make out her features.

"Don't worry, I'm going to fix everything. I know what she did to you. I've been looking for you for so long. I'm going to take care of you, Ben."

_What the hell?_ "I'm not-" She clamped a hand over his mouth, cut him off.

"I know what she did, I know. Once you recover, I'll make it better. I'll make you forget everything she did."

His vision cleared further with each minute and he was finally able to make out the look in her eyes. She grinned at him and turned, walked out of the room.

Alec pulled at the cuffs a little desperately but couldn't break them, still too weak from whatever she'd drugged him with before. He closed his eyes tightly when the movement made the nausea reappear.

_Max, I could really use one of those last minute rescues. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Everything is quiet_

_Since you're not around_

_I live in the numbness now_

_In the background_

Max sat silently. She was waiting. Waiting for Dix to tell her where White was. But until then, she wasn't sure what to do.

She couldn't take being around them. She couldn't take being around Joshua or Original Cindy and their sympathy and knowing. She couldn't take Logan's attempts to pull her into a conversation. About what she didn't know. She didn't care. Mole and the others were avoiding her eye, talking a little too quietly.

That was the problem. It was too quiet. She wanted…she wanted to hear Alec's constant chatter about stupid things that would have irritated her just a day before.

She was finding it hard to care about anything else but finding White. Revenge had never been on her to do list. She'd had the opportunity to kill Lydecker several times and passed them up after all.

This was different. She'd had her moment of blinding clarity when she'd found Alec on the floor in his bedroom. She hated that clarity and was reminded why some people said that ignorance was bliss.

It was very simple. She loved Alec and…she didn't know how to live without him. The bitch of it was that she hadn't even known. It was different from what she'd had with Logan. She'd known she loved Logan long before she'd admitted it out loud. She'd just been too afraid to get that close to him.

With Alec…she hadn't even _noticed. _Her feelings had changed and she'd been clinging to Logan so hard that she hadn't realized it.

She didn't just want revenge…she needed to know and she needed to even the score…whoever had done it to Alec needed to die too.

After that…she wasn't sure what she'd do.

* * *

Alec gritted his teeth and pulled harder. The girl had disappeared. He really needed to get out. The look in her eyes when she'd been in the room proved that.

The crazed look in her eyes didn't exactly inspire confidence. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to think he was a dead man….one that _Max _had killed. Not good.

Still, he couldn't break the cuffs and sitting up in the bed had caused his head to spin so fast he'd had to pause for a few minutes. He kind of felt like he'd been hit by a car.

"What are you doing?" Her voice came from the doorway.

Alec turned to her, leaned back. "Just getting comfortable," he said smoothly, not letting any hint show that she'd surprised him.

"Sure." She walked over to him. "Look, I know Max did a number on you. You probably don't even know who I am."

"Oh, no. I know who you are. 210's your designation, right? You were in Max's unit. Jondy, isn't it?"

"You remember?" Jondy asked, sitting down on the bed beside him.

"I remember your twin being in my unit when he were kids. Like mine was in yours."

"Ben-"

"Mine's 494," Alec interrupted. "Me and Ben were twinned…not the same person. You can check my barcode." She was very close. He considered trying an attack but he wasn't even sure he could walk without falling yet much less take on another X-5. Trying to talk her down first seemed a better option.

"That can be altered," Jondy stated. She got up from the bed. "I know who you think you are but you're not. You didn't have a twin. Max-"

"What? Created a whole twenty years worth of memories and put them in my head? That is not possible."

"It is possible. You remember Manticore. What we are…everything that they did? How could you think anything is impossible?"

"Why the hell would Max want to replace her brother with me? She hates me! I'm pretty sure that she wishes that I more than just look like her brother."

"She doesn't hate you," Jondy stated idly. "I saw her face when she buried you. She loves you. That's why she took you from me."

"Buried?" Alec asked, eyes going wide. .

Jondy nodded. "The drug I gave you mimics death. I got it from an ex-Manticore doctor. They used it for some of their more…invasive experiments."

"She thinks I'm dead." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Jondy answered anyway. "She did the same to me. I think it's only fair."

Alec didn't answer her this time. Max had buried him…she thought he was dead. He wondered for a moment if what Jondy said was true. Wondered if Max actually cared or if she was dancing on his grave.

When he turned his full attention back to Jondy, she had a syringe in her hand.

"This will help. Trust me."

Alec tensed and waited until she got close enough to try and give it to him before he struck. There was no way in hell he was letting her give him anything else…at least not without a fight. Two kicks. One knocked the needle out of her hand, the other landed on her face and knocked her down.

Alec didn't wait for her to regain her feet. He pulled. One jerk, as hard as he could on the cuffs and he simultaneously broke the cuffs and his wrist. He groaned when he rolled to his feet. The room spun again and his muscles ached along with the sharp pain in his wrist.

_I am so fucked. _The thought came before he even made it to the door. Before Jondy tackled him, before he felt the needle and the world went black once again.

* * *

"Well?" Max asked when she stalked into Joshua's old house and turned to face Logan.

"I haven't found White," Logan answered right away without even looking up at her. Max simply nodded and started back out.

"Max." Logan's voice stopped her but still…she considered walking out anyway. Her conscious, which would have started talking just a few days before at the thought, didn't even twinge. In fact, she hadn't heard a word from it since Alec had died. She knew that should have worried her but she really just didn't care.

Still, she turned to face him again. "What?"

"Look, I know that you and Alec were dating and I want to help but-"

"You want to help?" Max cut him off. She didn't want any lectures, and she definitely didn't want to talk about her relationship with Logan...or the one with Alec she'd invented to keep Logan away. "Find White."

"It's not that easy…" Logan started. Max frowned when she caught the flash of guilt in his eyes.

"You are looking for him, aren't you?" A bit of anger leaked into her voice.

Logan hesitated and sighed. "Max, do you really think this is a good idea?"

"You haven't been looking for him." It wasn't a question because she knew Logan pretty well. She could see it on his face. "You've been jerkin' me around?"

"No!" The protest was a little loud. "I am not trying to jerk you around, Max. I just think…maybe you should let this go."

"Let it go?" Max stood still for a moment. The anger built. "Alec is _dead_ and you want me to let it go?"

"I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

Max stepped forward, coming dangerously close to him. "Trust me, Logan. I'm not going to do anything to White I'll regret." The anger had built up to rage at this point.

"Why don't I believe that? Max, I get it. I know…you and Alec…I saw it after all and I know you're hurting and you're angry but what happens a year from now? What happens when the grief subsides. You'll still have hunted a man down and killed him."

Max straightened again and the rage faded. In its absence, she simply felt hollow. "Me and Alec were never together," she admitted in a flat voice. Logan's eyes widened but she continued before he could say anything, "I love him. I didn't realize it until now but I did love him…I do love him. I love him more than-"

"More than me?" There was hurt in Logan's eyes. She didn't feel guilty for hurting him. She was feeling pretty much nothing at all.

"Yes." She paused. "I'm not getting over this Logan. Not after everything that's happened. I'm not some normal, well adjusted girl who can grieve for a while and then move on."

"It just happened, Max. You have to give yourself time."

Max simply shook her head. "I'm going to find White, Logan. If he killed Alec I'm gonna kill him myself and I won't regret it. If you won't help me, I'll find him myself." Max turned and walked out before he could answer.

* * *

Max walked slowly back to TC after leaving Logan. She should have felt guilty for her words. She should have felt guilty for hurting him. She should have felt guilty for a plan that included premeditated murder. She didn't.

She guessed she'd lost too much. She'd watched Eva die when she was just a child, held Tinga's body, snapped Ben's neck herself, she'd lost Logan, even if she hadn't seen it at the time, as soon as Manticore had infected her with the virus. Renfro had taken Zack and Brin from her.

That was what it came down to, wasn't it? She was going to kill the person that took Alec from her. Morals didn't matter anymore…any sense of right and wrong that she'd been clinging to because she wanted to be considered human. None of it mattered. She had nothing left to lose.


	3. Chapter 3

_The plans I make still have you in them_

_Cause you come swimmin' into view_

_And I'm hanging on your words like I always used to do_

_The words they use so lightly I only feel for you_

_I only know because I carry you around_

_In the background_

"I don't give a damn about the symbols." Max's voice was flat and she stared Logan down, dared him to challenge her. She wasn't feeling too generous as of late.

"You don't want to know what's happening with your own body? You don't care what message Sandeman was trying to send?"

"It doesn't matter." Max crossed her arms. "Was that all you called me for?"

"Max, don't do this. Don't shut yourself down like this." Stupidly, and a little desperately, he actually reached out for her. Max pulled away automatically. Her first thought, this time, wasn't of the virus. It was of how utterly wrong it would feel to touch Logan when she'd never be able to touch Alec again.

Logan dropped his hand, momentarily embarrassed by his own actions. "Max. Please talk to me. It might help."

She stilled and cocked her head to the side. "I don't care about the symbols. I don't care about finding some normal life. I don't care about getting the public on our side. I don't care about anything anymore. The _only _goal I have right not is finding the person that killed Alec and taking them down. There is nothing you can say that will change that."

_"Wow. That speech wasn't melodramatic at _all_." _

Max shivered at the echo of the voice she'd never hear again. She glanced to the side, almost expected to see Alec lounging in the chair behind Logan, smirk in place.

"Max?" She could see the concern in Logan's eyes when she turned back to him. "Look, I know it hurts now but there'll be a day when it won't hurt so badly. You should try and think about that."

"_Yeah, lighten up, Maxie. It's not the end of the world." _

Max almost laughed. Because really? It kind of was. She wasn't hurting. She wasn't feeling anything.

She was distracted a moment later, however, when her phone rang and she listened to Joshua's panicked voice. She didn't have a clue about some of what he was talking about but she did get that he was stuck in the city with no transportation.

"JamPony's just around the corner. Find-" She cut off, pressed fingers into her temple when she almost said the name of the only person that she knew for a fact wouldn't be at JamPony. "Find CeCe," she corrected herself. "She should be there. She'll get you transportation."

She closed her phone with a sigh and turned to Logan. "I gotta go." Surprisingly, she found she did feel something at the thought of Joshua being in danger.

"You need help?"

"No. Stay here, we'll be fine." She turned and walked out without another word.

* * *

"It'll work," Jondy insisted. "It has to."

Jacob Landers stared at her a moment, considered giving her the truth because he was pretty much positive this wasn't going to work the way she wanted but he dismissed the thought immediately, the same way he had when she'd first come to him. The girl was paying him enough money to disappear completely and forever.

"Of course it will," he lied smoothly. Not that she would have noticed if he was a horrible liar. She was completely insane and only had eyes for the young man heavily sedated and strapped to the table in the middle of the room.

* * *

"Familiars…" Max tilted her head. She knew White was on his way and she smiled.

_"Now, now. Don't go doing anything stupid and impulsive, Maxie. That's my job." _

"Not anymore," Max whispered.

"What was that?" Mole asked, bringing her back to herself.

"White's on his way."

"What do we do?" Joshua asked.

Max smiled again without humor. "We fight."

* * *

Jondy's hand shot out, grabbing his before he could inject the liquid into the young man's arm.

"And it won't…hurt him will it?"

"No. It won't hurt him," Jacob insisted. And that wasn't a total lie. It wouldn't hurt him…_physically _anyway.

"Okay." Jondy released him. "Okay…good. Do it."

"He'll be perfectly fine," he reassured. Now _that _was a lie. He almost felt sorry for the boy. It certainly would not be a pleasant experience. Manticore had scrapped the experiment because while they had been alright with torture, they at least tried to keep the damage repairable. Transgenic's were simply worth too much money.

Jacob shrugged away the thoughts. He'd never developed a conscious in the years he'd worked for Manticore. He wasn't going to start building one right then.

* * *

"Joshua, don't! He deserves to die, a lot!" Max paused, pleaded with Joshua with her eyes. "I need him alive. I need to know what he did to Alec…if he did it." She glanced down at White, who Joshua finally dropped after a moment's hesitation. "After that, you can rip his head off for all I care."

* * *

"I have to do it," Max said as she stared at White's unconscious form, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. She could almost feel him there, standing beside her, maybe biting his lip with that look he got when he felt she was being a little _too _stubborn.

"_Uh huh. And then what_?"

"Then it doesn't matter," she stated simply. Joshua and the others had decided to stay and fight for their right to live normal lives but she didn't care about that.

"_I really fuck you up this bad_?"

"I was fucked up long before I met you," Max pointed out with a small smile. She turned her head to the side and got what she expected. No one there. She was really only talking to herself. She reached forward and slapped White hard.

"Time to wake up."

* * *

"If you'll get on the table?" Jacob asked finally, looking up at Jondy, who nodded. He hooked her up and started the process.

Surprisingly, the girl had a lot of memories to work with. She had spent a lot of time with the boy on the tables double. And, oh yes, Jacob was well aware that the boy on the table was not the man she thought he was.

He had worked with 494 at Manticore during his many visits to Psy-Ops. He'd only had brief contact with 493 but he knew the details of 494's background. He was aware that the girl was out of her mind and that she had latched onto 494 simply because he looked exactly like 493. Again, if he had a conscious, he would have felt sorry for him.

* * *

"You know what I want." Max gripped the knife in one hand and stared down at White.

"Do you really believe I'd talk about my-"

Max backhanded him emotionlessly. "Do you really believe I give a damn about your pathetic little breeding cult?"

White smiled. There was blood on his lip but he didn't seem to notice. "It doesn't matter. You see, I know how this plays out, 452. You make a few empty threats and then, like the good little girl you've been trying to be since you escaped, you'll let me go. I know you, 452. You haven't got the stomach to do what it takes to make me talk."

"No?" Max leaned close to him and, without warning, stabbed the knife down onto his hand until it stuck to the wood of the chair he was tied to. He didn't scream like a normal man would have but he did flinch and she saw the shock pass over his face.

"You know, a week ago, you might have been right about me. A week ago, I cared about the cause and doing what was right and all that moral bullshit that comes with it." She held his gaze as she pulled the knife out, savored the second flinch and the very, very slight tightening of his jaws.

"Thing is? This isn't a week ago and now? Now you are going to talk because I'm feelin' now that I've got nothin' left to lose."

"You won't follow through…" He didn't sound quite so sure of that anymore though.

Max leaned even closer. "Look into my eyes, Ames. Tell me what I'm capable of right now."

* * *

"It worked?" Jondy asked, staring at him hopefully.

"I believe so." Jacob smiled at her. Hopefully he would already be out of the country when she figured out the process would only confuse 494 at best or it might drive him completely insane.

Then again, 493 had been insane as well. He watched her watch him, saw the look in her eyes. Perhaps she wouldn't notice.


End file.
